I'll Stand By You
by EOAddict
Summary: Elliot and Olivia are together, but will forces that bind them together make them stronger or tear them apart?
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer**__**: If I owned anything, Benson and Stabler would be together!**_

_**A/N: I know I have other stories that I need to focus on but I can't help it. My mind is constantly running with new ideas but I promise this is the last story I'm going to post until I'm through with the others. Also, I have a Law & Order board that I'm working on to house my fics and others fics. It's not finished yet, but you can still come and check it out. Thanks, Kia. **__**benstabler./index**___

_Olivia lie in bed, determined to sleep a little longer despite the fact of the sunlight peeking through the bedroom window. She moaned approvingly when she felt the arms of the sleeping form next to her, tighten its arms around her waist, pulling her closer._

"_Good morning, you" She turns in his arms to face him; smiling brightly, she pulls him into a sensual kiss. _

"_Mmm…" He moans as she slips her tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss. After a few moments, he reluctantly breaks the kiss, only to speak. _

"_You keep kissing me like that and we won't make it out of this bed" She smiles seductively before pushing him on his back and straddling him._

"_That's not a bad idea" She replies before claiming his mouth with hers. She grinds herself into his growing erection. A low guttural sound escapes his mouth at her ministrations. His hands roam underneath her tank top, finding their destination as he begin to fondle her breasts. His actions are cut short due to the ringing of his phone on the nightstand beside him. He contemplates ignoring the phone, but quickly dismissed that thought, not knowing if it was one of his kids or worse, work. Groaning, he reluctantly allowed her to remove herself from his lap._

"_Stabler" He mouths the word 'Cragen' to her; she nods her head understandingly before getting out of bed heading into the bathroom. After getting the details of the case from Captain Cragen, he ends the call. He sighs heavily before getting out of bed. He walks into the bathroom to find that Olivia has already finished her shower. He leans on the doorframe of the bathroom, watching her as she performs the morning ritual of brushing her teeth. He takes in her appearance; his erection is instantly brought back to life seeing her standing before is eyes, clad in only a towel. _

'_God, this woman can make anything look sexy' He thought inwardly._

"_Like something you see, Stabler?" She had known he was there watching her but she pretended not to notice as she does a lot when he watches her. She loves the fact that he could watch her as she does something as simple as applying makeup, getting dressed, or like now, brushing her teeth._

"_Always" He replies walking over to her, pulling her into an embrace. Placing her wet tresses behind her ear, he begins placing soft kisses along her neck._

"_What did Cragen want?" He sighs heavily, placing one last kiss on her neck, before meeting her eyes through the mirror._

"_Another case" He replies, unwilling to go into depth about his conversation pertaining the case. Before she is able to further question him, their brown haired, blue eyed four year old son, Caleb, makes his way into their bathroom, much to the relief of Elliot._

"_Daddy!" The boy exclaims, obviously happy to see his father after not seeing him in almost a week due to his caseload. He scooped the boy up and into his arms._

"_I missed you, daddy" The boy confesses, burying his head into his father's neck._

"_I missed you too, buddy" His eyes meet his wife's as her own swell with unshed tears at the sight before her. She walks up to the two of them._

"_Where is my good morning kiss?"_

"_Uh-oh. You'd better kiss her Cale, she's getting jealous"_

"_Mornin' mama" He says before kissing her on the cheek._

"_Good morning, Mr. Man" She ruffles his hair before taking him from Elliot. "Why don't you go downstairs and watch cartoons while daddy and I finish getting dressed? Then when I'm finished I'll make you breakfast"_

"_Pancakes with lots of sweet stuff?" She laughs at her son's pet name for syrup._

"_Not a lot, but yeah you can have some sweet stuff" She lets him back onto the floor._

"_Okay." He heads for the door, then suddenly stops and turns to Elliot. "You gonna be here to eat breakfast with us daddy?"_

"_Yeah, buddy, I'll be here" He smiles sadly at the thought of having to reassure his son of his presence in his life. He watches as his son leaves the room, now content knowing that his father would have breakfast with him. _

_He was grateful that Olivia had transferred to Computer Crimes after having Caleb; knowing that Olivia was able to be with Caleb when he couldn't eased his mind, but he still couldn't help but feel like he was missing out on his son's life as he did with his other kids and he didn't want to make that mistake again. Leaving the Special Victims Unit had been hard for Olivia but she knew the long, unpredictable hours and stress of the job wouldn't allow her to be the on hand mom that she wanted to be. She didn't want to be a full-fledged housewife and being a cop at heart, Computer Crimes seemed to be the easiest compromise for her. _

_He, himself had often thought about Leaving SVU but had quickly dismissed such thoughts every time he was able to get a perp off the street and into prison. _

_About thirty minutes later Elliot was dressed for work and Olivia had finished with breakfast. Olivia and Caleb were already at the table eating. Olivia looked at the clock and saw that it was a little after seven. "El, it's already 7:15. Are you going able to eat with us?" Caleb looks up at him with sad eyes._

"_Of course, how could I miss out on having breakfast with two of my favorite people?" Caleb's face instantly brightens as Elliot sits down at the table with his wife and son._

_EOEOEOEOEOEO _

_She sat in the bathroom staring at the stick. She couldn't believe it. She sank onto the floor, the cold floor tile being the least of her worries. She reaches for her cellphone, as Avril Lavigne's 'Girlfriend' rang throughout the bathroom. Having set ringtones for everyone in her phone, she already knew it was one of her best friends Taylor._

_Hv u done it yet?_

_-Cheer Girl_

_She sighs heavily, before texting back._

_All 3. It's nt good. Idk wat I'm gng 2 do._

_-Tyler's Girl_

_Whn r u gng 2 tell my bro?_

_-Cheer Girl_

_Idk. 2day I guess. He's nt wht I'm worried abt. My parents r gng 2 freak._

_-Tyler's Girl_

_Just as she sends the last text, Dickie, adamantly known as Rick since entering junior high, pounded on the bathroom door._

"_Hurry up, troll! I need to use the bathroom"_

_She rolls her eyes at her brother's immaturity. "Use mom's bathroom. I'm not done"_

"_Liz is in there. Hurry up!"_

_She places the caps back on the sticks, gathers them and places them into her makeup bag. She grabs the boxes out of the trash, placing them into the brown bag she bought them in. She opens the door, pushing Rick out of her way as she walks out of the bathroom_

"_Very mature, Katie!" He responds sarcastically before entering the bathroom._

_TBC_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Sorry It's been so long since I updated, it's been a crazy couple of weeks. I've been working and I've been sick(I have POS, so that can be a bitch). I'm working on updates on my other stories too for those who are still interested. _

_Kathy Stabler's Residence_

_Queens, New York_

_Friday, September 19__th_

_8:30 a.m._

"_Thanks for coming with me, you guys. I think I would have chickened out if I went by myself" Kathleen announces after putting her backpack in the back seat of Taylor's black Mazda6. _

"_No problem. That's what friends are for, right?" The brunette consoled, reaching from the backseat of the car and giving her friend a warm smile and reassuring pat on the shoulder._

"_Thanks, Cass" Kathleen wanly returns her smile. "Are you sure you guys aren't missing any important tests or anything?" She looks between the driver's seat at Taylor and the backseat at Cassie._

"_We told you it's cool. We can make a girl's day out of it. It's our Senior year, Katie, we deserve a little down time" Taylor reassures._

"_Yeah, especially considering the circumstances, Kath. We're here for you, babe…" Cassie inputs, igniting a spark of laughter throughout the car._

"_You guys are the best" Kathleen replies, loosening up for the moment, unworried for the first time all morning. The girls had decided to spend their day in Manhattan, that way they could take Kathleen to the doctor, then have some down time. Taylor and Cassie knew that no matter what the results turned out to be, Kathleen would need them and they intended to be their for her._

_EOEOEOEOEOEO_

_16__th__ Precinct _

_Manhattan, New York_

_Friday, September 19__th_

_9:45a.m._

"_Warner still hasn't called with those results yet?" Elliot asks his partner, Marissa Hollis, as he sits down at the desk across from her. He watches as she stares at the picture on her desk, obviously unaware of his presence and the question he asked. He tosses the file on her desk in order to gain her attention. She looks up at him quizzically._

"_You still with me, Ris?"_

"_What? Oh, yeah, it's just-" She pauses for a moment, unsure of how to continue._

"_The case getting to you" Elliot replies, all too aware of how the cases dealing with young children can hit close to home, especially when you have kids of your own._

_She nods in response, "How do you do it, Elliot? Better yet, how did Liv deal with it? I think on days like this I can see why she went a different route…" He feels for the brunette in front of him. He watches as her eyes gloss, obviously fighting back the tears that threaten to overcome her. Before he can respond, Cragen's voice interrupts him._

"_Stabler, Hollis, I need you to get over to the ME's office, Warner's got something for you on the Mullen case"_

_EOEOEOEOEO_

_Medical Examiner's Office_

_Manhattan, New York_

_Friday, September 19__th_

_10:05a.m._

"_The boy had definitely been sodomized repeatedly, but the perp was smart enough to use a condom"_

"_So being that the Sodomy was repeated, it's probably someone he knew, maybe a relative?" Marissa concludes, trying to place together pieces that may help them solve the case._

"_That's not all I found. The little boy had bruises, some old, but most of them fresh in places that could be covered easily by clothing. I believe that the blunt force trauma to the head killed him instantly." Melinda Warner informed the detectives, ending her analysis._

"_Thanks Melinda" Elliot replies before heading for the door behind Marissa._

"_No problem, just nail the bastard who did this" He nods in understanding before exiting the room._

_EOEOEOEOEOEO_

_16__th__ Precinct _

_Manhattan, New York_

_Friday, September 19__th_

_12:20p.m._

_Munch and Fin had gone to pick up the parents of Nathan Mullen for questioning. Elliot and Marissa had gone out to question friends, neighbors, basically anyone who had contact with the victim. Cragen comes out of his office, at the same time Elliot and Marissa walk into the precinct. _

"_What have you got for me?" Cragen asks upon spotting the detectives._

"_It seems the Nathan's teacher, Leslie Whitten, had gone to the home of Nadine Pierson, a few months back, she said Nathan had come to school with some questionable bruises" Elliot explains, walking over to his desk with Cragen and Hollis in tow._

"_Well, why didn't she report it then?" Cragen questions._

_Marissa picks up where Elliot left off. "She said that she met with his mother. The mother chalked his bruises up to 'boys being boys' and being a mother two boys herself, she bought it" _

"_What the hell? What gives her the right to make that call? She should have reported it!" _

"_That's what I said too, but the teacher claims it was a one time thing, she saw no other signs after that" Elliot adds._

"_Probably because mom got smart and started bruising him in places no one would see" _

"_Nadine Pierson may not be our perp, but she could still be an accessory" He hands a file to Elliot for him to look at. "It seems the stepfather, Royce Pierson has some priors. He's a registered sex offender, he had no business being around Nathan, let alone living with him"_

_Elliot reads the reports carefully before handing them to his partner. "Unbelievable. And the mom knew this?"_

"_That's what we are going to find out. Fin and Munch are gone to pick them up as we speak, so until they get back, dig into the mother's background a little more. See if we may have missed anything" Cragen commands before retreating back to his office. Elliot's cell starts ringing. A smile immediately appears upon his face after seeing the name of his wife flash across the screen of the phone._

"_Hey, baby. What's up?"_

"_I just wanted to see if my incredibly sexy husband would be interested in joining his wife for lunch?"_

"_Aw, baby, I would if I could but I'm in a middle of a case right now"_

"_Oh. Is it the same one from this morning?"_

"_Uh, Yeah…" His somber mood returning quickly at the mention of the current case._

"_That bad, huh?"_

"_Yeah, that bad…" He smiles slightly at his wife's ability to read him, even over the phone._

"_You think you'll still be able to meet me and the kids for dinner? It was your idea Mr. Stabler."_

"_Shit, I forgot all about that…I'll try my best, but I'll call you ahead of time to let you know for sure"_

"_Okay. Love you"_

"_I love you too. Bye" After he ends the call, he looks over at his partner to find her looking at him and smiling._

"_What?" He asks furrowing his brow, interested in her interest in him._

"_Nothing. It's just the way you interact with Liv. It's something to see. Big, bad Stabler all cute and cuddly with the wife" They both laugh at the thought._

"_That's funny because Munch and Fin usually say the same thing about Liv. Bad ass Benson becoming a mom and wife? My wife, no less?" _

"_Do you miss her? As your partner?" _

"_Yeah, but I won't trade it for the world. I gained a hell of a lot more than I lost when I married her…""I never knew you could be so sweet Stabler! I'm guessing that's some of the charm you used on Liv to get her into bed" He gives her his famous cocky Stabler smile, before responding,_

"_Wouldn't you like to know" She rolls her eyes,_

"_Yeah, right, Stabler, I don't think I'm your type. And you are definitely not mine!" They both laugh once again, both relieved to be able to talk about something other than the case, at least for the moment._

_EOEOEOEOEOEO_

_The girls rode back to Queens in silence. Ever since they came from the clinic, Kathleen had been quiet. Neither Taylor or Cassie had wanted to push her, they knew she needed time, so they abided by her unasked request for space._

"_What am I going to do?" Kathleen whispered audibly._

_Neither Taylor or Cassie could answer her. In someway, they knew it wasn't really a question for them, it was more of a question to herself. _

_TBC_


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I know it's been a long time since I updated but I'm back. I had chapters written that I hadn't posted but my computer crashed. I know, it sucks huh? I lost all my chapters for all my stories. I had to start all over and that bummed me out, so now I've had to change the direction that I was going with my stories. I've gotten the motivation I needed to rewrite my chapters and get the story moving. Hope you are still interested and enjoy the update.

Stabler Residence

Brooklyn, New York

Friday, September 19th

8:30 p.m.

Olivia glances at the clock on her cell for the umpteenth time since getting the phone call from Elliot telling her to have dinner without him, promising to be home as soon as he could.

At times like these, she understood how Kathy must have felt over the years, having to tell their children that daddy wasn't going to make it home for dinner like he promised yet again.

Broken promises.

Like Kathy, she had begun to hate her husband's job, unhappy with the strain it put on family life but unlike Kathy, she understood and respected it...most of the time.

Given the nature of the job and the affect it was beginning to have on Caleb, Olivia had asked Elliot to refrain from making promises that could be broken at any given moment due to a case, but in typical Elliot form, he assures her that it's ok but she knows it isn't.

He doesn't see the look in their son's eyes when he cancels on him. He isn't there to wipe his tears away.

He isn't their to assure him that his daddy loves him. In some ways, he just isn't there…not any more.

Lost in thought, she unaware as Kathleen enters the room and joins her on the bed.

"I guess you get it now? What mom went through?" The young blonde asks, her voice even. Her tone wasn't bitter or accusatory, but more of an sympathetic one.

"I always sympathized with her, but I guess I never understood it until-" She stops short.

"Until you saw that look." She finishes for her stepmother.

"I know that look. We all had it on our faces every time he called to tell us he couldn't make it to a game or recital…" She pauses briefly, lost in memories.

"I remember in when I was in junior high. I got the leading role over Lauren Hayes in the school play and I was so psyched about it, mainly because I got to kiss her boyfriend Justin Gentry, but I didn't tell daddy that." They both laugh.

"Smart move. I can just see that vein popping out of his neck" They share another laugh before Olivia urges her to continue.

"So the night of my play, he had called mom to tell her he couldn't make it, but she didn't have the heart to tell me."

"I was so nervous. I kept looking out into the crowd at mom and the empty seat beside her. All night I kept watching the door, expecting him to walk through…" She fights back the tears forming in her eyes. She closes them quickly, hoping to gain control over her emotions.

"_Those damn hormones." Kathleen thought inwardly. "Not now, baby…" Her hand moving instinctively to her stomach, not going unnoticed by Olivia._

"It hurts." She covers quickly, hoping to distract her actions with her words.

"And I hated you for so long after that, because I thought that you were the reason he didn't come. I accused him of sleeping with you, right in front of mom." She admits. Olivia opens her mouth to object.

"Katie, I want you to know that nothing ever happened between me and your father while-"

"Liv, I know." She answers softly, staring intently at the floor.

"I honestly believe that I am partly responsible for her believing that the two of you were having an affair. I encouraged that belief. I hated him for giving so much of himself to you and SVU." She sighs heavily.

"I know he never cheated on mom physically, but he did emotionally. He fell in love with you. Not that I could blame him. You are beautiful woman inside and out." She smiles wanly at her stepmother.

"Tonight, the look in yours and Caleb's eyes were familiar. In Caleb's there was hurt but in yours, I saw a hint of defeat…Don't give up on him, Liv…" She reaches over and grabs her stepmother's hand, gently squeezing it.

"Thank you, sweetie, for the encouraging words"

"No problem, glad to know that I could be there for you for a change" Olivia smiles at her stepdaughter lovingly.

"Not that I'm not enjoying your company but why are you in the house with your stepmother and little brother on a Friday night? Mo, Rick, and Liz practically ran out of here when I gave them the go ahead"

They both laugh, each remembering how relieved the other kids were when they found out that they didn't have to change their plans for the night.

"Seriously though, shouldn't you be out with Taylor and Cassie? Or better yet, your cute boyfriend, Tyler?"

"You know if I didn't know any better, I'd think you were crushing on my boyfriend Mama Liv" Kathleen teases.

"Who me?" Olivia responds, feigning innocence. "Now if I were about twenty years younger and Elliot-less, then you would probably have to watch out for me"

"I promise, you wouldn't want to deal with him! Tyler's out with his boys. Cassie and Taylor are at a party and I am so not in a party mood."

"Feeling under the weather?"

"What makes you ask that?"

"You barely ate dinner and I couldn't help but notice that you seemed to be giving your stomach a lot of extra attention" Her admission catches Kathleen off guard, but she quickly recovers.

"You know me too well. I have been feeling a little under the weather"

Arching an eyebrow, "Oh, really? How long?" Olivia inquires.

"A few days, but I'm sure it's nothing"

"What other symptoms are having?"

"Queasiness and mild nausea"

"You should get that checked out. I'll make you an appointment-"

"No!" She exclaims, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to get so excited, it's really not as serious as it sounds. I've just been stressed out about my AP classes. No biggie." She offers Olivia as small smile, to which Olivia doesn't quite buy.

"I'm fine. Trust me"

"I do" She responds, watching the young girl rise from the bed.

"Good night, Liv and remember what I said" She hugs her stepmother one last time before leaving the room.

As Olivia watches Kathleen's retreating form, an uneasy feeling washes over her. She can't help but feel like something's wrong. And why does she feel that what ever it is has the ability to maybe destroy their family?


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

Stabler Residence

Brooklyn, New York

Friday, September 19th

9:00p.m.

[Kathleen]

Talking with Olivia helped me in ways I can't even begin to imagine. Our talk made me realize what was important in life.

Family.

Love.

Life and the ability to live it instead of ending it.

All these things.

Everything that I would be depriving the life forming inside of me. I can't do it.

It's ironic that I am coming to this conclusion now, even more that inadvertently Olivia has aided me in doing so.

Looking down at my hand resting upon belly, I realize the truth that lie within what Olivia had mentioned earlier.

The decision has been made. The thought of terminating a life, a part of myself, now makes my stomach turn.

The mere fact that I had even considered it before now seems inconceivable.

Mom and dad are going to freak, that much I'm sure of. Tyler doesn't even know.

What if he doesn't want it?

To hell with it! To hell with what anyone thinks or wants.

I know what I must do now. It's the only thing I can do, because any other choice, I won't be able to live with.

Hampton Inn Hotel

Upper Manhattan, New York

Friday, September 19th

9:15 p.m.

[Maureen]

"Mo! Mo!" The little curly haired brunette squeals in excitement upon me entering the room. Before I know it, she's in front of me, arms outstretched, eagerly awaiting me to pick her up.

"Pick me up Mo-Mo" I happily appease her request of my affection, placing a kiss upon her forehead.

"Where's daddy?" I ask, scanning the room.

"In the shower. I missed you Mo-Mo" She informs me, while smoothing the fur around the collar of my jacket.

"I missed you too, Maddie" I reply to her, hugging her a little tighter in the process.

It amazes me sometimes how quickly this little girl stole my heart. Although she's not mine, I don't think I could love her anymore if she were.

"Where have you been?" She asks sternly as if she were scolding me like you would a child. It humors me, but I somehow manage to keep my amusement contained.

"I went to see my dad, but he wasn't there. He had to work"

"Did you get to see Caleb?" I smile nervously, her innocent questions making me uneasy.

"Yes, sweetie, I did. For a little bit"

"When are me and daddy going to meet your family? Can we do it tomorrow?"

"I told you sweetie, they don't know about you and daddy yet. It's a surprise"

"I know that Mo-Mo!" She replies in mock exasperation. "I'm ready to surprise them now, so I can play with Caleb"

"Maddie, baby, what did I tell you about pestering people" I turn in the direction of the newfound voice in the room. I am grateful to him for momentarily rescuing me from Maddie's relentless questions.

"I'm not pestering nobody, daddy" She defines indignantly, inciting laughter from both me and her father.

I watch as he crosses the room to where Maddie and I are standing. With Maddie still in my arms, he pulls me into an embrace, then kisses me briefly, but tenderly on the lips.

"We have been missing you"

"So I've heard. I missed you guys too" Placing Maddie on the bed, I begin my nightly ritual of getting ready for bed. I can feel him watching me as I rummage through my luggage trying to find the most appropriate bedtime attire, seeing as though Maddie would be sharing a bed with us.

After a while, I finally give up my search, settling on one of Mike's t-shirts and a pair of his boxers.

After a shower and change, I return to the room to find Maddie already asleep and under the covers. Mike looks from the TV to me expectantly.

"Did you talk to your dad?" Man, he doesn't waste any time.

"No, I didn't get a chance to. He couldn't make it for dinner. I didn't even get to see him, let alone talk to him" He nods in understanding, sensing my need not to push the issue further tonight. He resumes watching the television while I silently contemplate how to enlighten my family on everything that has happened in my life while I have been away at college…

Stabler Residence

Brooklyn, New York

Saturday, September 20th

2:35 a.m.

[Olivia]

The sound of his footsteps, though treaded softly, are just as audible as the sounds of our neighbor, Mrs. Peterson's Golden Retriever.

I don't need to see him to know that he has crept into Caleb's room.

To tuck him in. To kiss him goodnight. To apologize for the broken promises.

Rationalizing his dedication to his job. Resenting what it is causing him in the end.

It's what he does.

As my husband quietly enters our bedroom, trying carefully not to wake me, I assume my role of feigning sleep.

Sleep has been blissful memory for quite some time now, becoming virtually impossible to partake in. How could I when my husband isn't at home where he is supposed to be.

I haven't even been to sleep. The bright red digits of clock on the nightstand revealed the time.

2:35.

Where in the hell has he been?

Not the station, that's for damn sure. I know that because I called the station a little after midnight after he hadn't shown or called.

Cragen informed me that he let the squad off an hour prior to my call. It took everything in me not to light into him the moment he stepped into the room.

Patiently I wait.

Silently debating.

Should I let it rest until the morning or confront him now?

Cautiously, he joins me in our bed. The smell of alcohol and smoke are eminent upon his breath and clothes, all the while enlightening me of his whereabouts of the past few hours.

I continue to lie in bed, perfectly still and seemingly unaware of his presence.

His hesitance to envelop me into his arms, just as he does any other night, does not go unnoticed by me.

All rationality and reason is lost the moment he wraps his arm around my waist.

Without so much as a second thought, I rebuff his advances.

"Where were you?" I ask him, my voice devoid of any emotion.

He is visibly taken aback by both my reaction to him and my question.

"Babe, I thought you were sleep"

Emphasizing each word, I ask once again, "Where were you?"

Placation definitely won't work tonight.

I can feel the bed dip a little as he shifts from his side to his back. He sighs heavily before he speaks, "At Maloney's with Ris and Fin"

With my back still facing him, I wait for him to continue, offer up some kind of explanation as to why he's been avoiding his family like a plague.

"I tried to call you on your cell" I inform him, trying desperately to keep my voice even.

"My battery went dead" He states simply, unaffectedly, which does nothing to appease my anger.

"And you didn't think to call and let me know _something, _Elliot?"

"I honestly didn't think-"

"_No_, you honestly didn't think, but that's not unusual these days. You never stop to think about how your actions affect the people in this family!" I reply swiftly and effectively enough to get a rise out of him.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He growls, grabbing me by the arm, forcing onto my back in the process.

I study his face upon my new position in the bed. His eyes have become a darker shade of blue, revealing the brewing anger that lies within.

It's been a while since I have been on the receiving end of his unbridled anger, but I definitely hadn't forgotten how to hold my on in the midst of it.

"It means exactly what I said, you selfish sonofabitch" The fury in his eyes now matches my own. It's only a matter of time now before it is fully unleashed.

His gaze, as intense and unwavering as it may be, doesn't discourage me from getting to the root of our problems.

Amazingly, this fact is not lost upon my husband, honorably admitting defeat in our silent pissing match.

He lies back on the bed, his attention now focused on the ceiling, instead of boring a hole through my head.

His breath is ragged, undoubtedly from trying to keep his temper in check.

Once again, I wait for him to counteract, to at least call me out on my bullshit, yet he doesn't say a word.

An weary sigh escapes my lips, as I turn back over onto my side, my back once again facing him.

After what seems like an eternity of deafening silence, he speaks again,

"I know that it was my idea to have a family dinner tonight-"

"It's not just about dinner Elliot…" I pause briefly, unsure as to whether or not to continue.

"I feel like you're slowly shutting me out."

_Like you did with Kathy. _

"I feel as if I can't reach you anymore and that scares the hell out of me, El"

"I know that I haven't been there for you and Cale like I should have and I'm sorry for that. It's just-" He pauses for a moment. I don't push him, which is a newfound role for me.

"For so long you have been Olivia, my partner and now you're Olivia, my wife and mother of my son. It's like I have an overwhelming need to protect you. To keep you safe. Now more than ever" He exhales sharply, fighting the tears I know are there.

"It's hard for me to separate the two" I turn back around to face him, the emotions that he's trying so hard to keep at bay finds itself seeping through.

"Baby, you don't have to" Reaching out to him, I gently cup his face, adverting his attention to me.

"You don't have to be strong for me. I'm still the same person. I'm still your partner. I still love you and you can still talk to me. I still want to be here for you" I state, staring at him intently. He doesn't speak, but nods in understanding.

I kiss his lips softly. I don't reject him this time when he draws my body closer to him.

"I love you, Mrs. Stabler. Don't you ever forget that"

"I love you too, El. I could never forget that. Just promise me that you never lose sight of us. No matter what happens"

"I promise" This time he kisses me, his kiss more thorough than mine.

I move closer, if possible, to him relishing the feel of his body against mine. For the first time since he has walked through the door, I console my husband, by simply letting him be.


End file.
